When I was a little girl I had a huge imagination. I still do. In college I stifled my imagination by pretending to be interested in things to appear “cool”. At my college we had so many quaint cafes, yet I didn’t spend much time in them. I was going out and pretending to enjoy it. I remember checking out “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao” (incredible book) by Junot Diaz from the college library, and just having it sit on my desk. I had every intention of reading it, but it wasn’t until after college that I finished it. The book is so delightfully random, which was why I enjoyed it.

            There was a 1996 study involving over 1000 adults aged 60 to 86. They were rated at the beginning of the study based on their levels of curiosity. Some of them smoked, some of them had cardiovascular disease, some of them had cancer. After five years, researches found that those who were initially rated as “more curious” were more likely to be alive at its conclusion, including the ones who had health issues.  This study was published in “Psychology and Aging”.

            I just Googled “curiosity killed the cat”. The link “Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction bought it back- Wikipedia” popped up. 

            Curiosity makes us happier. In the beginning of college, I would Google the same few celebrities in my free time while “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao” waited patiently. At that time, I didn’t think it was cool to “think”. But I noticed I felt happier when I was having discussions in my writing class. My friend took me to her philosophy class towards the end of college, and it was a blast!

            My life is so much more fulfilling when I’m curious! A few weeks ago my friend told me about Graham Hancock who lives by the motto “question everything.” When I think of computers I think of PC or Mac. Yet the first computers were supposedly designed by ancient Greek scientists in 205 BCE, centuries before 1946 when the world was introduced to the ENIAC computer (which took up a whole room!). Graham is an incredibly brilliant man, who ponders historical conundrums like the ancient Greek computers. I’m learning more about him. He has a documentary on Youtube that’s fascinating.

            You can learn so much from Google! I just found out what happens when you Google “Zerg Rush”… And I also recommend Googling “interesting facts”. Discovering fun, random things is delightful! Life becomes more colorful when we’re curious. Take it from someone who used to only watch reality shows. I remember the only DVD I borrowed from Netflix back in college was “Gastineau Girls”- a reality show about a beautiful mother/daughter socialite duo. I had Netflix for a year and half in college. My current favorite show is “Gilmore Girls”. It’s a show about a fictional mother/ daughter duo set in the town of Stars Hollow. I never watched this in high school, so now I’m catching up! Rory is awesome (and has a great sweater collection). Michel is blasé, hilarious, and has the best accent. I’m only on the 3^rd season so I haven’t met Lorelai’s dog yet. And I kind of know what happens from accidentally Googling, but I’ll keep watching because the dialogue is spectacular!

            Remember how you felt when you were a kid and discovered bubble blowing? Or found a new way to walk to your friend’s house? As a little girl I wanted to find a four leaf clover because my classmates were raving about how awesome it was. Not sure if I found one, but I remember the shrieks of delight from my classmates when they plucked one during recess. It was as if they discovered a hidden diamond mine! As adults, we’re no longer continuously looking for four leaf clovers, but it doesn’t mean we have to lose our fun, or our curiosity. Life can still be fun. We don’t have to depend on our parents for allowances or car rides anymore; we can create our futures! And yes, we can enjoy creating our futures.

You ever go to a restaurant and order something new? A few nights ago I ordered fried ice cream. The server came back with a lighter, and poured fire over my fried ice cream. I’ve had fried ice cream before, but never with fire. My inner five year old was delighted as I took my first bite of fiery fried ice cream. I used to stick with the same routine restaurants, but now I’m open to new experiences.       

            Life has a routine for many people, myself included. I cannot hop on a plane tomorrow for a 6 month Barbados vacation. But it doesn’t mean our lives have to become a routine. Being curious helps, as long as the things we choose to explore don’t cause us pain. The secret is to figure out what we truly enjoy, whether it’s swimming, mathematics, cooking, philosophy, football, or traveling. And then explore what we’re interested in. For a long time I didn’t know what I truly liked, which was why I didn’t visit Lake Minnewaska in college or spend time in quaint cafes. But then I realized: it’s never too late! Now I’m enjoying Gilmore Girls on Netflix, and fascinating conversations in pizza parlors. Time really flies when we’re enjoying activities.

            Being curious, trying new things adds spark to our lives. We’re not clones or drones; we’re individuals. Nine to 5 doesn’t have to be a life sentence. People have interesting stories. Ask your friendly co-worker about her vacation, hobbies, favorite memories and you might be fascinated by what she says!

            My book (link below) details my journey from severely depressed to consistently happy. I’m grateful I live colorfully now, after spending so many years in darkness.  

Book Link

            For most of my life I avoided cooking. It just wasn’t “my thing”. In college I would fry a hot dog and put it in a piece of bread, and call it a meal. I wanted to improve my eating habits. In the past I lost weight because I ate less, but not always healthier. I like meals that taste delicious, but are relatively simple to make. I drink Shakeology because it takes 1 minute to prepare, and is plant-based. It’s filling when I add peanut butter, almond milk, and half a banana to it. And it tastes like a delicious semi-sweet milkshake. 

 

            One of my goals is to learn how to cook. I can scramble an egg, bake a Betty Crocker cake, cook pasta, and operate a microwave. I will never starve.  But now I want to learn how to really cook. It’s one of my goals. I listen to a lot of Abraham Hicks videos on Youtube, who says in order to reach goals it’s best to “make it easy”.

I’ve decided to “make it easy” with these 3 steps.

1.     Set a goal I believe I can achieve. My goal for this week is: I’ll make one new recipe. I’ve kept it simple and short-term. My goal wouldn’t be: I’m going to beat Bobby Flay in Iron Chef by next Halloween! My long term goal would be: to cook one new recipe every week for 3 months.

2.     Have fun while completing the goal. I’ve decided to enjoy cooking. In the past I cooked to survive, but I’ll find a way to make it fun!

3.     Be kind to myself. When I’m learning something new, I discovered it’s best to be nice to myself. If I “mess up” I won’t put myself down because I know criticizing myself will not get me to where I want to be. Instead, I will ask myself “what can I learn from this?”

These steps apply to every goal I set. Now on to recipe- hunting…

I decided to make Cauliflower Nachos. Growing up, I loved gooey, high calorie foods such as French fries, pizza, grilled cheese, stir fry, mozzarella sticks... I still love tasty food, but now I want to eat healthier, which is why I chose Cauliflower Nachos. It’s made with vegetables, but it’s still nachos! Plus, it’s easy to make. And very gooey.

I had a recipe to follow from. I started chopping cauliflower. And then I started tearing the cauliflower to pieces because it was more fun. And then I diced up the onion, pepper, cilantro, and jalapeño. At one point the jalapeno got in my eye! I chopped the onion on the same exact spot as the jalapeno. I probably won’t do that next time

             

The instructions called for a quarter cup of chopped tomatoes. I didn’t want to measure. Precision can be very tiring. (Unless it’s something easy- like 2 teaspoons of sugar.) So I picked 2 smallish tomatoes and chopped it. In the past, I disliked cooking because everything had to be “just right”, measured to perfection. I used to spend so much time measuring! Now, I approximate. It makes cooking so much easier and more fun.

            This applies to life as well. In the past, I alternated between complete perfectionist and royal procrastinator. In high school I would fold my dirty laundry. In college I would wait 2 months before doing laundry. Both resulted in unhappiness. I’m happy when I’m productive and relaxed, when I’m not focused on “making it perfect”. Meditation helps a great deal!

            I enjoy activity when there’s no “rush”. I made sure I had plenty of time to cook so I wouldn’t have to scramble. This recipe wasn’t supposed to take too long, but I set aside a nice chunk of time so I wouldn’t feel rushed. I enjoy chopping slowly. As a result, the vegetables I chop sometimes forms amusing shapes. When I chop, I try not to think of “Iron Chef” or “Chopped”. Though I enjoy both shows, I never want to be on either!

            I’m dedicated, but I don’t compete. In the past I did secretly compete with a lot of people. Then I realized: I can’t win by competing. I may “beat” my opponent one day, but next time they might come out stronger. And I always felt resentful when I competed because even when I was “winning”, there was always another person seemingly “better” than me. My life became easier after I stopped competing.

            I’ve also learned not to compete with myself. In the past, I based my self-worth on my achievements. From an early age, I believed what people said about me, about my limitations. I also wanted to make something of myself. I was in a predicament: I didn’t believe in myself, and yet I needed to succeed so that I could feel good about myself. With that mentality, I didn’t achieve my goals. When I didn’t achieve my goals, I felt worse about myself. Then I realized: I don’t have to base my self-worth on my achievements. I choose to feel good about myself. When I think of myself in high school, I don’t cringe anymore. I realized: I was always good enough. I just didn’t know it then.        

            I didn’t make a four course meal; I made 1 dish. And I was proud of myself. That’s what happens when I stop demanding perfection and stop competing. As I was eating my delicious cauliflower nachos, I gave myself a pat on the back for cooking something new. I didn’t make gnocchi or macarons, but I was proud of what I made. Cauliflower nachos are simple, healthy, and delicious. My kind of recipe.  Here’s the link to an amazing assortment of recipes, which I’m experimenting from. Next time, I’ll make guacamole.

Beachbody Recipes 

To achieve goals, believe in yourself. Don’t base your self-worth on your achievements. Life becomes easier when we stop competing with each other. And be gentle to yourself if you “mess up”. Chances are, it’s not as disastrous as it seems. It took me years to understand all of this. For much of my life, I believed the exact opposite. My life got better when I realized my self-worth.

One of my favorite books as a teenager was: Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul. I wrote my memoir (links below) to give people hope. I know if I can find happiness, then so can anyone.

 Kindle Book Link

Paperback Book Link