In tenth
grade I had to give a presentation in Biology class. As I spoke, I had Britney
Spears’s “Oops I Did It Again” CD playing in the background. I thought it would
go nicely with my speech. I also had a bag of candy that I tossed to students
who answered the questions I asked. One of my most memorable questions was “Who
do you think the cutest guy in N SYNC is?”
Thankfully my social skills improved in
college. That didn’t mean I felt calm during a presentation. I recall dropping
my note cards during the middle of my Organization Behavior presentation,
announcing to the class “I’m nervous”, before finishing my speech. I was
terrified of the audience. I remember going to my first Toastmasters meeting in
SUNY New Paltz, and feeling awed by the level of articulacy the students
possessed. I somehow managed to participate in Table Topics, which helps with
impromptu speaking. Table Topics are a minute each, and I remember my palms
feeling moist when it was my turn to speak. My friend said she voted for me for
“Best Table Topic”; I believe she was the only one who voted for me. Still, it
was nice to have the support of a super-articulate friend.
I officially joined Toastmasters
after college because I knew I was going to be giving presentations as an
author. My confidence level was much higher than it was in high school, but I
still wasn’t comfortable in front of an audience. So I relied on notecards for
my first 4 speeches.
I recently gave a dinner
presentation for the John M Glover Agency about overcoming the difficulties I
faced in “Fall and Rise: My Journey to Happiness”. The audience was wonderful,
and my presentation went very well. During the middle of my presentation I lost
my train of thought. After pausing a few seconds, I was able to continue
effectively. I found that pausing is a great way to gather thoughts together
during a presentation. In the past, if I lost my train of thought, I would fill
in the silence with “um, yeah, so, you know”, which made me more nervous, and
less likely to remember my lines. Toastmasters has helped me learn the
importance of pausing, and how to reduce/eliminate filler words during a presentation.
In my speech I spoke about “not demanding perfectionism”. I wasn’t upset at
myself for losing my train of thought because I knew that being upset at myself
for “not presenting perfectly” would have negatively impacted my speech. At the
end of my speech, I focused on the audience’s smiling faces, instead of that brief
pause. It was a wonderful experience; I felt grateful I was able to share what
I learned from my tough past.
Whenever I’m about to give a speech, I don’t think about
messing up. It helps to think of something pleasant, or anything but the speech
itself. Someone once shared he would always think of something funny, such as a
Kevin Hart joke, before he was about to give a speech. I’ve found that thinking
about random things also helps with remaining calm. I admit, it’s sometimes
difficult to think “ginormous” positive thoughts (I’m going to win the lottery
today!), after a train of negative ones. In that case, random thoughts can come
in handy. Random thoughts distract us, and are more helpful than negative thoughts. Positive thoughts are the most helpful. When I watched the
super-horror film “The Conjuring 2” I thought of everything but the film.
Visualizing porcupines, M&M’s, marshmallows, and bunnies distracted me from
the onscreen demons. I don’t recommend thinking random thoughts during a speech
though. Rather, use it as a way to feel calm before a speech.
Practicing is very helpful. I’ve
found, “winging” a speech leads to disastrous results. There are a few people
who can “wing” a speech, and make it flow, but the majority of us require
practice. Practicing helps calm us down when we know what we’re going to say.
When I was in college, I had to give a presentation for my Marketing Research
class. I had my PowerPoint crisp, colorful, and detailed, and my bag of candy
ready to give to students who answered my questions correctly, at the end. This
time around, I left Britney Spears in my IPod, and my awkwardness was minimal.
However, few students answered the questions I asked at the end of my
presentation. My PowerPoint was catchy, my speaking was coherent and on-topic;
what I was lacking was: preparation. I had only practiced once for this
particular presentation; I figured my cool purple PowerPoint was the “wow”
factor. I read from my slides, and noticed students’ eyes glazing over. There
was a little excitement when I announced I would be tossing out candy, but that
excitement dwindled when I realized my classmates hadn’t been paying attention
to my presentation (me reading off my slides).
Practicing helps us remember. My
final speech never sounds 100 percent like it does during practice. I’d switch
words around, or add a phrase in the middle. And yet, I don’t veer off point,
into the woods, because I know the general direction of my speech. I owe this
to regular practice. How many times should you practice a speech? I believe in
practicing until I feel comfortable. Some days it’s more than others. There’s
really no “magic” number. I used to
think it was 10 times, but now I practice until I feel comfortable. My goal
isn’t to make a “perfect” speech. My
goal is to enjoy giving my speech because I know if I enjoy it, my audience
will as well. Whenever I was miserable during a speech, the audience looked
miserable as well. However, when I’m smiling and energetic, my audience mirrors
my smile. Every public speaking expert I’ve listened to, or read about, has emphasized
the importance of practice.
I pretend I’m talking to a friend when I give presentations.
I don’t think about people judging me, because I know that will make me
nervous. In college I didn’t tell anyone about my past because I was afraid
they would judge me. I later realized it was all in my head. I share my life
story and the lessons I’ve learned to give people hope that happiness is
attainable no matter what our previous circumstances may be. It’s wonderful to
see the audience connecting with my message, and smiling. There’s a saying “to
be happy, make others happy.”
When we know that no one is judging, and what we have to say
is valuable, then we feel relaxed during a speech. I cannot read minds so I
don’t know what anyone in my audience is thinking. However when I choose to
believe in my speech, and in the kindness of my audience, I feel relaxed and am
able to give an effective presentation. And my audience always smiles
afterwards. Remembering myself in tenth grade, I know if I can enjoy public speaking,
then so can anyone.
In conclusion, to enjoy public speaking believe what you have
to say is valuable. Know it’s no big deal if you “mess up” during your
presentation; just keep going. Choose to believe the audience is kind. Pretend
you’re talking to a trusted friend when giving a speech. Realize the importance
of practice, and think pleasant, funny thoughts before a speech to relax. And
last but not least, Google Toastmasters and visit a local chapter.
I’m so grateful I’m able to share what I’ve learned, over the
years, in my blog and in my presentations. I realize that everything happened
to me for a reason, and that none of my past struggles have been in vain. I
wrote my book (Amazon link below) to give people hope that happiness is
attainable no matter what we’ve been through in the past.
