According to history.com, 45 percent of Americans make New Year’s Resolutions. I’m not one of the 45 percent. I’ve never made a serious New Year’s Resolution, and I’m not planning to this year. I’m much more motivated than before, but I realized setting a New Year’s Resolution didn’t sit well for me. Over the years I’ve realized it’s about finding a solution that works for you. The beauty of humankind is that we’re all individuals. In college, I thought I was a night person because many students were more productive at night. I would stuff myself with food, and attempt to study at 8 pm in the student lounge. After college I realized I focused better during the day. Around 8 pm my gears tell me to slow down. And I listen.

            The habits I developed in the past made life more difficult. I kept them because it felt good to order takeout, and hang out with my friends instead of studying. Throughout my life I alternated between “letting go” and being overly severe with myself. Neither helped. In college, I noticed there were students who got good grades, had a healthy social life, exercised regularly, and maintained a clean dorm. Habits are helpful for getting “what we want”.  And yes, having good habits can actually be fun. Like many people, I feel excellent when I’m productive and not pushing myself to the limit.

            Increased productivity feels great, but it doesn’t have to be “hard”. Growing up, I was taught I had to work hard to get to where I want to be. I was agitated, irritated, anxious, and insecure. Life became easier when I discovered another way. I listen to Law of Attraction videos on Youtube every morning. I’ve read numerous self-help books. I’ve discovered there’s a way to combine the two to enjoy work.

            Law of Attraction states “thoughts create things” and feeling happy helps us get to where we want to be. I listened to a video today, where a man asked Abraham Hicks: “well, if I want money do I just sit there and think about money? And not do anything at all?” Abraham replied “focusing is doing something. Action won’t feel like action if we’re enjoying the process.” There are people who love their jobs, who don’t need a vacation from their work.

            The self-help books I’ve read focuses on turning dreams into reality through action. And none of the books say: “In order to be successful you’re going to have to work 12 hours a day, 365 days a year. And you have to be miserable on top of that.” 

            In the past I believed I would have to work long, tiring hours to get ahead, which was why I procrastinated. As I mentioned in a previous post, one of my goals in college was to get a 4.0. I didn’t achieve it. Life is a learning experience, and I don’t regret any of the choices I made in college. They’ve helped me become the person I am today. And yes, if I realized what I know now, I would go about it differently. I’d do this instead…

SUNY New Paltz

First off, I would invest in a nice pair of sneakers. I plan on hiking through Lake Minnewaska and walking on the indoor track at the gym. Exercising keeps people energized and healthy. I’d go to the gym at least 3 times a week, and finally meet Hugo the Hawk (mascot). The classes I’d pick would be: 2 business classes, 3 general education. I wouldn’t change my major: Marketing and Management, but I would take the business core curriculum courses as soon as possible. In college, I waited until sophomore year second semester to take Stats I, which was cutting it super close! And I didn’t take a Foreign Language until my last semester, which was needed in order to graduate. Thankfully I was already fluent in Mandarin so I was able to bypass the first Foreign Language course, but I wouldn’t do that now! Having a goal plan, knowing the “next steps” definitely helps. 

In college, I would daydream in class and rarely asked questions. This time around I would pay rapt attention, and take short, legible notes. When we pay attention, we understand things a lot quicker, and it saves us from unnecessary Googling later. And I wouldn’t feel hesitant asking my professors for clarification, if I needed it. I’ve found asking questions makes work go by “faster”, and produces quicker results. (When I’m in the city, I ask for directions if I don’t know how to get there. It speeds up the process, and reduces the “I’m so lost” feeling.)  

In my dorm I would set aside time every day to study, but I wouldn’t set aside a specific amount of time. I know there’ll be days when I’ll study more than others. I know that studying regularly will prevent stiff-neck cramming sessions and tachycardia later on. And it’s such a thrill when we’re “in the zone” and focused. I’ve learned that I study best when I’m by myself with no music in the background, so I would work from my dorm instead of the Student Lounge. I’d keep my phone on silent during study time, and hang out with my friends afterwards. Relaxation is important. I’d also keep my habit of taking naps whenever I need to.

Most importantly of all, I would believe I Can. I would visualize staring at my (digital, no more report cards!) 4.0 at the beginning of the semester, and I would keep that image in my head, and bring it up as often as possible. I wouldn’t let a 70 on a quiz block that image out. I’ve learned that criticizing myself only worsens things. Instead I would think: It’s ok that I got a 70 on my first quiz. What can I learn from this so I can get an A the next time?

Life is a learning experience. We crawl before we walk. We walk before we run. We wouldn’t expect ourselves to go from crawling to running. It took years for me to learn to be kind to myself. Louise Hay, author of “You Can Heal Your Life” (the book that changed my life) states the one issue everyone struggles with is not feeling “good enough”. She says when we release that inner belief, our lives work on all levels. And so far all of the motivational books I’ve read have emphasized the importance of self-confidence. As a teenager, one of my favorite books was “Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul”. In the book, wearing the “right” clothes and having “status” didn’t win lasting friendships. Confidence and kindness did.             

In conclusion, we already know the best way to reach our goals, even if it may not initially seem like it. Learn from others, and trust your instinct. I’ve learned so much valuable information from people in my networking groups. Find a solution you feel comfortable with; trust your inner voice. Have confidence, and know it’s working.

For most of my life I didn’t have confidence. It took me years to realize self-worth. I’ve been through the darkest pits of personal suffering, but I don’t regret anything. I wrote my book (link below) to give people hope that happiness is attainable, no matter what our past circumstances may be.  

Book Link